Reply to 26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some young adults seem to take a while to move up into the "adult" side of the family when it comes to such things.  Sometimes it helps to bring them up to speed, if they don't catch on.  It should be up to his mom and dad to say " 'Joe', you're old enough now to give gifts as well as receive them" or something to that effect.[/quote]

Very much this! I don’t find your stepson’s behavior unusual at all, based on the men in DHs family and mine. Most of them didn’t start taking on “adult family responsibilities” until marriage or their early 30s. Women seem to catch on earlier (which is why this isn’t an issue with his sister). I think they just don’t think about these things.

My DH and I married when he was 29 and at that point he was just picking up a few bottles of wine or baked goods etc for everyone- not lovingly picking out a gift for grandma etc. He only stepped this up at my prompting, after we married!

Same goes for the girlfriend (most women would bring something, but she sounds young as well). She may not feel comfortable inserting herself to help in the kitchen either.

I do understand your frustration but I don’t think it would hurt to gently say something but you shouldn’t have done so in the way you did.

Odds are it is cluelessness and is not reflective of how he feels about his family! It just seems to take awhile for young adults to become part of the “adult family” as the previous poster said. [/quote]

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