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[quote=Anonymous]BTDT with my parents.  You are not going to change them.  Mine would visit about 1-2 times a year.  Once if they or my sister hosted the holidays that year or twice if we hosted.  We went about 3 times for each of their visits.  Same for my sister.  Nothing changed when the grandchildren came.  You get the grandparents that your parents are willing to be.  If it was the other way and they visited too much, then you could have a say and limit those visits, but you can't force someone to visit you.

The faster you and your DW accept this, the happier you will be.  It took me longer than it should have to figure it out, but stewing doesn't help either.  If your parents choose to be "Holiday and Vacation" grandparents and not helping out when needed grandparents-then that is what they will be.  My DH's parents were already burned out of grandparenting as our boys were their 10th and 11th- they visited once every other year.  All are gone now.  My sister and her DH have stepped up to the plate and have and fosters a great relationship with my children, as I do with hers.  This may be where you can put your effort - with your brother and his family.

FWIW, Facetime came out when my children were in MS and it helped foster more of a bond with my parents and them.  [/quote]

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