Reply to At my wit's end--what the heck do I do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP.  :(

One thing that sticks out to me is you saying:  "I don't know what the hell is going on, but pull yourself together and get over it."  And then beating yourself up over it.

That's really not a huge deal.  In my own relationship, I could say that to my DH or vice versa (and we would say it in a normal tone of voice) and it would be ok.  Part of a partnership is being able to call each other out.  You can't be walking on eggshells all the time.  Misery.

I think the thing you really need to consider is how this will affect your son.  Growing up in a household where, as a child, you have to be on eggshells is really damaging.

[/quote]Yes, OP, you seem to have a hard time acknowledging that this is abusive to [i]you[/i], which it clearly is but you keep making excuses for it.  So if you can't acknowledge that, realize how this is hurting your child.  If you can't defend yourself, defend your child.
On a related note, one thing I learned about myself is that I kept taking care of abusive people because I had convinced myself that I was stronger than they were and that I could "take it."  But that was my ego speaking.  In reality, I didn't want to accept that I was like any other person who had a right to a decent life and that I wasn't asking for anything more than what any other person deserved.  I had to learn to accept myself as being like any other person rather than this really strong special person who could endure abuse while taking care of the abuser.[/quote]

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