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[quote=Anonymous]	OP is why I’m not a fan of dating do’s and don’ts, sex is expected without the emotional and social protections most people need.  It never fails to amaze me when posters say “Why didn’t you discuss *this* before marriage” and then advise people to “take it slow” “don’t rush things” “don’t pressure” in the dating phase of a relationship.

It is impossible to have a successful relationship if the people involved are told they can’t or shouldn’t have necessary conversations. 
It’s like a realtor showing someone two bedroom apartments in the city when their client says they want a four-bedroom farmhouse. Both living styles do the same thing, shelter, warmth, a place to go when you want to go home, but the lifestyles involved are incredibly different.

Posters are correct, there are a lot of men that waste women’s time using business, privacy, travel, all deemed to be socially acceptable for them to keep their options open.  Some women do this too.

If you still want to date this woman, do it. If you can’t based on what you know now, tell her that and let her go.

Lastly, and I have to ask because I really want to know, what did you think she was doing with her time when she wasn’t with you? What exactly did she say when she wasn’t with you?

Thinking back to when my husband and I were dating, I always knew what he was doing when we weren’t together. What I mean is if he said he was with friends, he told me their names and what they had all done. I did keep my ears peeled for women’s names and how he talked about them so that I could evaluate if he was someone I felt comfortable with.  I didn’t want him claiming a woman was just a friend only to find out they were also dating, or worse, she thought they were.  He has female friends, I am ok with that,  but I needed to know that I was his main priority if we were going to date.  No way was I willing to be the “cool girlfriend).  This was useful for him to know too should we marry, he needed to know and deserved to know what sort of behavior and relationship I wanted to have and to decide if he wanted the same.

I’m sure he did the same evaluation criteria on me. I don’t believe at any point, he told me “I was with friends” or “I have plans” without telling me what they were and then referring back to them, i.e. “The movie was great” “My dad told me the best joke when I saw him” that sort of thing.

Before you decide, think about how you treated her when you weren’t together and how she treated you. If you were vague and made her think she wasn’t your main priority, don’t be surprised that she did the same.

Finally, my dad gave me advice that has served me well, nobody owes you anything, but you are in no way obligated to sit home waiting for a girlfriend or boyfriend to decide they want to come over. If they have an activity they are doing and have told you they don’t want you there, consider yourself single and spend your time as you see fit.  Your time and energy matters, so don’t wait for anybody, often literally.  His rationale is that life will provide you plenty of time to do things on your own, there will be movies your partner won’t want to see, family they won’t want to see, things they can’t attend because they are home with a cold, and that you should default to wanting your romantic partner with you as much as possible.  If you don’t, or they don’t, think about why you are in a dating relationship with this person.   
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