Reply to "I want to live with Dad!"

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Reply to ""I want to live with Dad!""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do women have kids with these losers? What positive things you saw in this man that you decided he was marriage material or would be a great dad?[/quote]

It goes the other way, too, you know. There are women who are crap at parenting...[/quote]

DP - but you're generally right. Why on earth folks don't have conversations around parenting styles/expectations before having kids is beyond me...[/quote]

Because the conversation you have before even having kids has little resemblance to what you do in 1 year, 5 years or 10 years, or after a divorce.

You don't really know what you will be like as a parent until you are one. You don't really know what your kids will be like and how they need to be parented until you have them, you don't really know how kids will impact your marriage until it happens, and you don't know how the breakdown of your marriage will impact your parenting until it does.[/quote]

I dated my DH for 3 years before I married him. I waited for 6 more years before I decided that I was ready to have a kid with him.  A sucky partner will not make a good parent. A weak marriage will not survive parenthood, because parenting is extremely hard.  A man is always showing you who he is.  A vindictive man who wants to win at all costs, was doing that even before he became a dad.   [/quote]

I think this is a callous statement. Anyone, from all walks of life, can be victims of abusers (no matter how smart or perceptive they think they are).

Also, you can have conversations about anything with a liar. They'll just lie and tell you what they think you want to hear.

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