Reply to Daughter upset she's not the best at anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she wants to be the best at something, she needs to work harder. It sounds like she wants to be exceptional without effort. That's not a gift in the long run. [/quote]

She knows that. I think the problem is that there is really nothing she's very passionate about, that she cares enough to devote the hours needed to be the best at it.

She works very hard at things she does, so she's no slacker.   She's really not strong in math, but she puts in a lot of hours at her homework and studying for tests, so that's how she brings home good grades.   She works very hard at it.   She's got more natural talent in other courses, but still even with her hard work, isn't the student who wins the National History Day awards or the writing competitions.

She's just not exceptional at anything (in her opinion).

I try to suggest things I think she may excel in with some effort (photography and orienteering come to mind) but she refuses these suggestions. I don't know why, but I think it is because she is very social and doesn't think these things are going to be areas where she will be interested and have friends.  (Also she just doesn't want to listen to me.)  I'm frustrated because she is unhappy but won't listen to my suggestions or take my advice, I guess.  But that is just part of being the parent of a teen I suppose.
[/quote]
Quite honestly, this is  most adults, though. I love to sing, but never did anything much other than sing in small churches or pursue voice lessons of any kind, though I looked into it once.  I have had this same discussion with my children, too, that if you want to excel at something you obviously have to practice, a lot. Most of us are just ordinary and will never find that thing we are super passionate about, and that's ok.  Living a life that is comfortable and full of love and laughter is accomplishment enough. That may sound trite, but not enough people have this in their lives.  My 14 yr old has said that if DC could live the same kind of  life we do now as an adult, DC will be happy. That's all I can hope for.. that they will be happy with their lives, and themselves.[/quote]

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