Reply to If you went "no contact" with family member, how did that work out?

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[quote=Anonymous]Have talked to sister dearest for a year, since our mom’s funeral. About 6 months before that, Sister dearest shoved me into a bookcase and then screamed, actually screamed, horrible curses and personal insults at me for hours. We were all under stress—it was the day we brought my mom from the hospital home to hospice, and sister dearest had had to cut short a European vacation to come back early. But still. Sis denies doing any of that, so a few months later sis cornered me and tried to re-write everything, but adding more insults and hissing about how much she hates me. That time I secretly recorded her on my iPhone—wish I had done it the first time. Sis can’t deny the iPhone recording of her behavior.

But yes, some don’t go quietly and will desperately seek validation/vindication throughout your friend and family groups. Sis has been making up stuff I supposedly did that supposedly caused our fight and sharing it with relatives and friends around the world. Some of her fabrications are so silly that people must look at her like she has two heads. Sis seems paranoid that word will get out about her behavior—she’s asked me a few times whether I told X, Y, or Z my side of the story. But honestly I haven’t told anybody about her, that we’re estranged, or why. When relatives ask me how she is, I just nod and say she’s doing fine. I have a nice and full life with my own family and friends (both my parents are dead) and I don’t think about her that much. Sis is isolated in the countryside with a DH who is probably on the spectrum, which may explain her paranoia.

FWIW, she and her husband have a long history of picking fights with many of the same relatives she now trashes me to. Judging by our relatives’ behavior—they freely contact me, as recently as two days ago, to ask for US-based favors that she could have done—they’ve got sis’ number and her attempts to badmouth me have backfired.

Would I like to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with my one remaining family member (apart from my own kids and DH)? Sure. But at this point it’s pretty clear her tirade didn’t come out of nowhere (like I thought at the time), instead she’s hated me for years. I don’t need that. [/quote]

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