Reply to Is it normal for parents (70s) to not have told their kids anything about estate planning?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it’s normal when the elderly parents expect their estate situation will cause anger or disappointment. Why not kick that van down the road until they are deal and don’t have to deal with adult child tantrums?

My XH’s parents had to back track. When all the adult kids were in their thirties and married, they promised each child 1/4 of the house proceeds and a million cash, plus funds for each grandchild minus a college contribution. Then the housing bubble burst. Then, my XH went through about 5 years of midlife crisis dating and marrying scammy women. Then, my XSIL decided rather than find a specialist to treat her DC’s mental illness, she would become a psychologist herself. The original package is no longer available. They won’t discuss what is coming.

A friend learned a few days before the funeral that her mother left 50% of the estate to her estranged son. No one has seen him in 25 years and my friend had done everything in those years. But he got half. Her mother kept it a secret because she didn’t want to cope with the disappointment.

Full disclosure: I declined inheritance in favor of other relatives. It has been enormously freeing. DH and I have made our future plans based on what we earn and control. We can interact freely with parents and other relatives. [/quote]

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