Reply to In same house but "separated"

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[quote=Anonymous]This is my parents' marriage. My brother and I are in our 40s and we both expected they'd have divorced years ago but at this point I think it's just their normal and neither sees a reason to change it. They have totally different friends and social lives and have since we were kids. Really, it's more like they are housemates than a married couple. They rarely do anything together outside the home and even make separate meals when they are both in the house at the same time. They are aware of where the other is (I'll call and my mom will almost always know where my dad is if he's out) but feel no need to include the other one.

I have no idea what effect it had on us in terms of "learning about healthy relationships." I'm divorced and remarried, my brother just celebrated 10 years with my SIL. I will say that it was always an awkward thing when we were kids, especially as teens. My parents made no secret of having different bedrooms and they often used us as communication tools because they didn't interact much. So when friends were over it was pretty clear that things at my house were unusual and I was sensitive about that. And for sure it was obvious that, at least back then, they were staying together out of some sense of duty to us, which always felt like a burden. I used to hope they'd divorce just so I wouldn't feel guilty that they were stuck together because of me. So I guess in that way it did have a negative impact on my childhood.[/quote]

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