Reply to How to talk to husband about wanting a 3rd child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if you have a 3rd and 30 years from now you're divorced and there is no happy dream of sitting at a table?

That's what happens when you are barely afloat and add a 3rd.[/quote]

Phrasing it as "What if you divorce?" always seems odd. When posters ask this, they apparently mean, "What if DH runs off?" It's never about the wife leaving.  :) [/quote]

In this case, the way the OP phrased the initial post implies that the DH does not want a third child and that the financial burden will make what sounds like a challenging situation for this family, more challenging. That is something that can easily lead to marital tensions and divorce. And it would likely be the DH who was not interested in a third child that his wife really wanted who leaves.

The OP wants a third kid for some dream family situation after acknowledging that things are tight financially, they struggle to maintain schedules/house/life with two kids, and that DH's work takes him away from home a lot. It does not sound like the OP is in a place where she can stay at home with the younger kids to make this work which means at least 2 kids in day care at the same time. So the scheduling issues of three kids on a tight budget with an additional financial burden of an infant in day care and all the associated costs. And that is assuming that it is a healthy pregnancy and birth and that there are no complications.

And the DH is at least on the fence if not in the "No" category.

This reads as a recipe for a bad decision that can sink a marriage.

The OP needs to have the conversation with DH, otherwise there will be regrets on her part, but needs to be able to see things from DH's perspective if the answer is no. She should be prepared to present to him how she thinks they can handle it in terms of time, schedule, and finances and not just "I see five of us sitting at the table."[/quote]

This is a wonderful, thoughtful response. Just because she biologically or hormonally wants another child at the dinner table doesn't make it a rational or smart decision. [/quote]

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