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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Try a massage and a vibrator. [/quote]

This.

I find it hard to believe that so many men have absolutely no idea how to get women to have sex with them.  Don’t most men spend years working on this very skill?  [/quote]

OP here, she has several vibrators and we use them when we do have sex.

To the other poster, I know I can have an affair, I do have other women who signal interest but it just trades one set of problems for another.  I will ask for a divorce first.[/quote]

Good for you that you won't cheat.

Also, I f you value marriage, read up on responsive desire and talk to her about where is your mind is currently regarding s potential divorce.

[b]I sometimes don't understand when men say that they don't feel loved/wanted even when a wife schedules sex with her husband (routine sex etc.). That is a sign that she loves you.[/b]  Otherwise, why make that effort?  It requires reframing of your mindset. [/quote]

There's a difference between scheduling it, and when it happens, she is being fun and playful and makes an effort to get into it.  It's another thing when it's "ok, we need to do this now, I am not going to shower, please just be quick, don't worry about me, just finish"  If she was in the category of "no real desire at the start but into it later" that would be ok.

The schedule was down to twice a month and when we discussed going to once a week her response was that 2x a month is a lot for a married couple and I should be thrilled it's that often.

Is she right?  Is this what men can realistically hope for?

Imagine the genders were reversed, and my effort for her was to hold a vibrator against her while checking sports scores on my phone.  Did I meed my scheduled obligation?  I checked the box and can go back to what I was doing, right?

[/quote]

I am not sure what you are asking here.  You said that your wife says not to worry about her.  That means that she wants to take the pressure off you to please her because she knows she isn’t feeling in the mood right then, and it’s going to take a lot of effort on your part to make anything happen.

Certainly when my husband has been unable to perform for whatever reason, I am pretty happy with a vibrator or oral sex and it’s over.  [/quote]

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