Reply to Does the Husband backing off and giving space help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Try a massage and a vibrator. [/quote]

This.

I find it hard to believe that so many men have absolutely no idea how to get women to have sex with them.  Don’t most men spend years working on this very skill?  [/quote]

You are missing the point. Like many men, he used to have much sex with his wife. So yeah, he used to know how to do this and was very good at it. But now she has stopped caring, and very likely there is [i]nothing whatsoever he can do[/i] to get his wife to have sex with the frequency and enthusiasm he desires.

It would not be hard at all for him to have sex with other women. So again, he does know how to get women to have sex with him - just not this one particular one who he is married to.

He should draw his own conclusions from this.[/quote]

I think we have the same point.  You know how to get a woman to sleep with you, OP, and it isn’t by backing off and acting disinterested.  
So, what’s the game here?  She isn’t interested in sex, and it doesn’t sound like you are really all that interested either, so what’s going on between you two?  And why do you two want to pin it all on her?  
It sounds like you have both accepted this narrative that you want to have sex and she doesn’t.  Even though you both know that you aren’t really trying all that hard, and she probably likes it at least a little when you do have sex, and in reality you probably have fairly similar amounts of desire.  So what do you get from this story that you are polar opposites?

If you want to have more sex, you have to figure out the function of that story in your marriage, and you have to find a way for your marriage to work without it.  Maybe it’s something she needs to feel she has power in the relationship.  Maybe it’s something that you need so you don’t have to face your own lack of desire sometimes.  Maybe it’s something you both need because it creates this push and pull in your relationship that keeps things interesting.  But whatever it is, you have to find something else to replace it before you can have more sex.
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