Reply to Tween not invited by friends to trick or treat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not sure how old the tween is, but telling a group that’s already formed and has set plans that you (dd) wants to join can be setting her up for a lot of hurt. [/quote]

These girls are her friends, though.  I sort of doubt that they would have a problem with their good friend joining them to trick or treat.[/quote]

Still...I’d be very careful. We have both invited and been invited to Halloween get together a for trick or treating. By the tween age, it may or may not be okay to ask to go. Are they doing a dinner beforehand?  Are they only trick or treating?  How often are there play dates (how recent)?  One year, my tween went with a group and one girl wasn’t included because the mom who organized it (per my kid) didn’t like some of the language she’d been using and (per my kid) had started some kind of a rumor - and it was the mon’s way of trying to have her daughter be distanced from it. Another year, my tween went with a group that had gone to fields of fear together and they were replicating that same group -(I didn’t organize that one either).  In either case, it’s awkward to ask if you can join a group that’s already formed. I agree, it might be fine and an honest oversight. But it is at least possible that it wasn’t. [/quote]

I agree.  I feel like by the tween age, she should start to have the discretion not to ask to join.  She can certainly make hints (what are you doing for trick or treating?  I don't have plans) and hope they think to invite/incude her when they hear that she has no plans.[/quote]

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