Reply to Getting married in our 40s. How should we combine finances?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have been married for over 35 years, and DH and I have always kept out money separate.

We split costs, usually by category.  For example, I provided the down payment for the house and he paid the mortgage.

[b]He is free to spend money on things I wouldn't--a fence around the yard is a recent example--and I can spend money on things he wouldn't (private trainer for an adult child with some medical issues).[/b]

It helps that we are both generally frugal and that our incomes have been remarkably similar over the years.[/quote]

It’s still the same money.  [/quote]

Not saying that it isn't.  We both agree on maxing 401 ks, 529s, and putting aside more in investments and savings and act on it.  We don't even agree on the best way to invest those extra funds.  DH is real estate all the way, and I am almost entirely stocks.  But since we keep things separate we have no arguments over how the other invests.

Whatever is left over after splitting expenses is each's to decide how to spend.  DH truly dislikes the car I bought and thinks I should have bought another that would have cost more (both used--neither of us would ever contemplate new). This did not become an argument because the purchase was entirely mine.

I just don't see why marriage should suddenly make every discretionary purchase a joint decision after all the essential savings and expenses have been taken care of.[/quote]

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