Reply to I never thought I would have to do this - I just paid for my sister's rehab

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I assume that most people don’t begin their sibling relationship thinking “I’m going to have to pay for this kid’s rehab.” So I think it throws most people for a loop. [b]On the other hand: The stuff behind addiction doesn’t begin overnight. We can usually look back at events and trends in the addicted one’s ES through teen years and see the vulnerable places now as if they were marked with neon signage.[/b] Sometimes there’s widespread family dysfunction. My adopted brother was born exposed to substances. He could not self soothe throughout infancy and toddlerhood. By preschool, he had explosive rages and an ED diagnosis by age 5. This continued until he began self-medicating with pot in MS. He fell into harder drugs about 2.5 years ago and detoxed 3x as a prisoner. Another sibling is paying for his rehab without much hope of it lasting lifelong. The goal is to keep him alive through Christmas.[/quote]

I'm so sorry about your brother. I do agree with you, but what's hard to reconcile is the dysfunction in my family (I'm not OP) seems so mild, comparatively, to have produced such a damaged, addicted person as my sibling (who also detoxed in prison several times). I want to shake them and ask what was so horrible about our childhood and parents, who have their flaws and dysfunctions but worked so hard to do all the "right" things. Ultimately that's what terrifies me the most - that you can do your best as a parent and still have this happen. 
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