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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "From friends to lovers."
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[quote=Anonymous]I dated my friend of 15 years. We are both single parents and met at our kid’s nursery school. When we first met, he was going through a divorce and I was the friend he leaned on to get through it. We remained friends, sometimes not talking for a while, but always there for each other. A few years ago we began talking more frequently because once again he was going through a hurtful breakup with the woman he had been dating for the past 7 years. We hung out more so he could talk and I would listen and try to give advice. One day he gave me a neck massage, which he had done before, nothing romantic, but this time it turned more physical and romantic. No sex. I felt weird about it, but he didn’t. I tried to continue to help him win back his relationship even more because of my guilt. He had tried to go to counseling with her, but she ended the relationship because she said didn’t love him anymore. Not long after all of that we began to date and we dated for two years. Out of nowhere he broke up with me telling me that I was not affectionate enough. In the two years we dated I never told anyone that our friendship had changed. Most importantly, I was worried how our kids, who are now teenagers would react. I was always worried that our relationship was a rebound relationship, but he always tried to convince me otherwise. I loved him so much that I believed him, even though he would still talk about his ex frequently and refused to do the work that one must do to get over a relationship. He just wanted to keep moving along with me. I knew it was not a good idea, but my feelings about him allowed it. After he broke up with me I found out that the woman he is dating now he started dating while we were together. It’s why he refused to work things out with me and insisted that we had to break up. It really hurt me . He blamed me for everything and told me that I hurt him so much that he didn’t want the relationship anymore. At the time I had no idea he had already moved on and was devastated that I was responsible for hurting him and causing the break up. I went to get therapy to work on the list of things that he told me that caused him to leave me. I had no idea he felt all of this during the relationship he never uttered a word! So when I found out the real reason he broke it off with me and didn’t want to work on the relationship I was beyond devastated! At the end of our relationship I tried to communicate with him and he basically ghosted me. A person I talked to 5 times a day, who called me every morning to say good morning and spent so much time with me and our kids, wouldn’t even return a phone call or see me in person to talk! I was trying so hard to work on us, not knowing he had started a whole new relationship! I had even asked him repeatedly if there was someone else and he kept saying no. 15 years of friendship and he broke it off with me on the phone and over email and text messages. He refused to speak in person. Now that I know about his new girlfriend that he met during our relationship, I know why he didn’t want to face me. It hurt. It still hurts. We are no longer friends and I regret ever getting involved with him. [/quote]
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