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[quote=Anonymous]So, this was my dad. It still is the way he operates to a certain extent. With the caveat that every family is different and every child has a different level of resilience, I’ll share my story: By the time I had memories —about 4-ish—I feared my dad. I just had a non-specific fear of him and the time when he would come home from work. By grade school my friends were afraid of him too. They wouldn’t come over to play when he was around and told me he was scary. When my parents finally split up, this hurt me a lot socially because my dad had custody on weekends. My friends didn’t want to come over to my dad’s house on weekends and always had excuses not to come, so life became pretty lonely until my teen years. I always had a vague feeling of unease and distrust around my dad, so I never told him anything sensitive or personal, even if he said it was ok. I learned to walk on eggshells, that it was my job not to set off my dad. As a young adult, this was a maladaptive response; I was too meek in dating relationships and conflicts with friends. When I didn’t feel well in relationships, I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted.

Now as an adult, I ignore my father’s blow-ups. They’ve lessened in severity. I also know they’re not about me. However, it makes me extremely sad when I see him target people like my sibling’s significant other, for example. It’s embarrassing and sad.[/quote]

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