Reply to Confronting Elderly Parents Cognitive decline feels like Gaslighting them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Too often adult children want to believe that an evaluation with solve it, will matter. Unfortunately what makes more of a difference is spending the time, entire days, with the elder to see how they are managing. What is their actual day like? What challenges are they facing and how are they meeting those challenges. There isn't much a doctor can do. There certainly isn't much a doctor can prescribe. [/quote]

Plus 1[/quote]

Obviously a formal diagnosis of Alzheimer's doesn't solve anything, but that doesn't mean it can't be helpful to both the patient and his or her family. I am so glad that my mom was formally diagnosed in the early stages of the disease. It allowed time to adjust wills and do other advanced planning in consultation with an eldercare lawyer. It is important to start that work early.  It also gave my mom a chance to start taking Aricept, which is far from a miracle drug but does help a bit. Also having a formal diagnosis spurred both of my parents to join support groups, which have been super helpful.  [/quote]This does assume that they are willing to plan.  In my family,[b] the pattern is that the diagnosis makes the person depressed and then they refuse to do any planning.  No one has a plan.  No wills.  No one knows where the kept their money.  No POA.  Always a disaster with lots of drama. [/b] An early diagnosis only helps if the person is willing to be reasonable.  Otherwise it just extends the drama.[/quote]

My heart goes out to you. Truly. While we didn't have it this bad, I am still getting over all the stress and aggravation caused by people who just refused to deal. I know this is all stressful, but you get yourself some meds and you rise to the occasion. (Not you, just voicing my frustration at people putting their fingers in their ears and screaming na nanana).

So basically in your case if there are medical issues you what petition  for POA with a lawyer? OMG what a nightmare. How does that even work.[/quote]

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