Reply to Confronting Elderly Parents Cognitive decline feels like Gaslighting them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Too often adult children want to believe that an evaluation with solve it, will matter. Unfortunately what makes more of a difference is spending the time, entire days, with the elder to see how they are managing. What is their actual day like? What challenges are they facing and how are they meeting those challenges. There isn't much a doctor can do. There certainly isn't much a doctor can prescribe. [/quote]

Plus 1[/quote]

Obviously a formal diagnosis of Alzheimer's doesn't solve anything, but that doesn't mean it can't be helpful to both the patient and his or her family. I am so glad that my mom was formally diagnosed in the early stages of the disease. It allowed time to adjust wills and do other advanced planning in consultation with an eldercare lawyer. It is important to start that work early.  It also gave my mom a chance to start taking Aricept, which is far from a miracle drug but does help a bit. Also having a formal diagnosis spurred both of my parents to join support groups, which have been super helpful.  [/quote]

So this!! I've been through this now with inlaws and my own parent. My family insisted on staying in denial until it was too late to have the one with Alzheimers be part of the planning. I honestly thing the parent would have lived a longer and better life if interventions had started earlier and we knew the wishes of the parent. Instead the other parent was in rage filled denial and then fill of fury and resentment caring for the the onr withj Alzheimers (with lots of help). Parent refused memory care and insisted other parent never wanted it. My guess is parent would have been happier around people paid to smile and be kind than being with someone full of fury. Contrast that with inlaws. Diagnosis done early-everyone agreed it was worthwhile. FIL was part of the decision making and did end up in memory care. MIL visited him daily and was able to take care of herself. We enjoyed visiting because these were 2 people where they wanted to be. My family on the otherhand was blown apart by Alzheimers and denial.[/quote]

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