Reply to Boyfriend of 1 year just sent me an article about a local swinger's party...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]...and I'm not into it. Am also feeling sad, as it's yet another in a series of indicators that we're not on the same page.

We're both divorced parents; him x 7 years, me x 3 years. His kids are teens, I have one 6 yo DS. We've dated for a year, it's gone well, met each other's children around month 8. And in the last 3 months things seem to have stalled.

I've made it clear that I want to get married again, that with a young child it's a priority for me. He was less emphatic about that but understood my position. He needs to move in the next year for his job and I explained that with children involved, we'd need to be engaged before I moved anywhere with my child. He's brought up multiple geographic locales; I entertain the conversations briefly but firmly circle back to my original position: no ring, no move. Sorry to be a hardliner, but I have a lucrative job that I enjoy here in Washington. DS's dad is (unfortunately) uninvolved so that does not prevent a move, but if/until I merge households my financial independence is crucial. Even after a merge, it's crucial. Anyway we've navigated the conversations with maturity and they've gone well. Now this.

Since I'll be asked, I'm high drive and our sex life is pretty intense. I might even be open to his suggestion somewhere down the road. But at 1 year, with kids involved, before we're permanently committed? I feel stung and like I may need to step back from all of this. I'm looking at the math and it's not adding up to the likelihood of success.

His answer when I asked why he sent me the article: "I was just sharing". Sure you were, buddy.

I know the answer here: this is what dating is for, move on, etc. People dating in their 40's with kids will get it: cutting bait at the year mark is sometimes necessary. But it sucks.[/quote]

Sorry you are going through this, but better you know now. If I was sent that article as anything other than a joke that would be it for me.

You deserve better.[/quote]

That was the big red flag among many. She is doing what a single woman should, not wasting her time. Either he wants a commitment or not. Time to move on.[/quote]

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