Reply to I served my dh with divorce papers after 23 years of marriage and we dated prior to that for many

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]years. We started dating in college, but didn't live together til we were married. I found out he cleaned out his 401K, it should have been at least 800K. He spent all but 100K, probably several hundred thousand in cash, i'm not sure on what. He has some expensive hobbies, but i'm really not sure and he won't say. I think it has something to do with a "dating service" bc in a moment of weakness after I filed he mentioned something along those lines. He also quite his 170K job without telling me. That is what prompted me to serve him, after that I found out about the retirement money missing. He obviously has problems, he drinks a lot too. He is now stalling on the divorce and can't believe I served him, i guess he thought i wouldn't despite my warnings in the past. Anyway, my life is upside down, we have 3 kids--2 who are in college. I can't imagine starting my life over but I have to, I'm very good looking and my friends keep telling me that I will "have no problem" finding a new person. The thing is, it's the very last thing on my mind. I have no desire to trust anyone again. I want to be alone. Is that normal?[/quote]

So 800k sounds like a lot. He was not making 170k when he started working so his early contributions would have been much small at the begin...even if he was really aggressive and had a max matching from the employer...he would have maybe something like 300k. That’s with a 6% return which most people do get on there 401k. If he was not aggressive, got in late, skipped a few years or the company did not match it could just be 100k. [/quote]

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