Reply to Am I just chump-change with this cheapskate?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Move out. There is absolutely no reason to muddy your finances and your ability to think clearly about the overall situation while you sort this out.

You aren't married, and you don't have children together. You can still spend as much time as you want together, but there is psychologically something very different about having your own space. As you said, you can do it for the same amount you are paying now, and better for you in many ways.

I suspect there haven't been many really productive conversations between the two of you about how things work in the relationship, practically speaking. It's probably time to set it up so that can happen -- or not, if he isn't willing. That's useful information, too.[/quote]

It seems like he is the kind of person who isn't very generous with his heart or his money when it comes to you.  It's been 15 years -- you are both getting something out of this "relationship" -- but it's not what YOU want or need.  I think you want to be valued for more than your financial contributions to the mortgage.  You may be getting companionship, but you are not getting genuine care from this person.  He seems stingy.  I believe that he has given what he is capable of giving.  He is not capable of really caring for you on the same level as he cares for himself.  That is the foundation of marriage and commitment -- that you consider the well-being of the other person as equal to your own.

I agree that you should find another place to live.  You can still see him for companionship.  But, when you move out and have your own space, you will probably find that you are ready for more from a partner.[/quote]

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