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[quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced when I was two (I am not 35). I recently acquired their wedding album when my grandparents passed away and their house was cleaned out. I really treasure it and didn't realize how meaningful it was to me until I had it. So definitely don't throw away the pictures.

Don't trash talk each other. Ever, for any reason. Swallow it in. Don't punish them for loving their parent. I've been running interference between my parents in some respect for three decades and I am over it. I have resented them both at different times for the situations they put me in.

I don't really think family dinners are necessary (and likely will start to drift anyway when you both eventually move on and potentially remarry). But I think finding a way to coexist in the same physical space pleasantly (not just neutrally if possible) is something your children will be extremely grateful for. Every time they need to be in the same room for something (my wedding/graduation/children't baptisms/whatever) it is tense and stressful for me. And not just wondering if they'll snap at each other there but monitoring to see if they're doing anything in the moment that the other one will spend the next six months complaining about.

And learn how to do these things early. My parents have actually gotten better recently. But I still viscerally react to them saying anything about the other and at events when both are present because of how traumatic these things were when I was a teen.

Be reasonable and accepting about holidays and grandchildren as they age. And as they get married. At some point your kids will be juggling the desires of four families (you, dad, ILs, their own nuclear unit), it won't feel fair and equitable but they didn't get divorced, you did, and part of the price you pay is not getting as many holidays with them as other parents do.[/quote]

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