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[quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced when I was 5 and while I think overall they did a good job of maintaining civility and didn't badmouth each other to me, the thing that affected me most in a negative way was them using me as a conduit for communication rather than communicating with each other directly. One example I remember vividly was that my dad for some reason expected me, at 9, to tell my mom that my stepmother was moving in with us and later that she was pregnant. I was so anxious to discuss something like that with my mom that I held out for way too long and by the time she found out, she was upset with ME for keeping something so important from her. Many other times had to do with money, from the simple ("does your dad intend to pay for that field trip?") to the important ("tell your mom it's her turn to pay for college tuition this year."). I always felt caught in the middle and I hated it. So whatever you do, communicate directly with your ex, never through your kids. [/quote]

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