Reply to how to teach your kid not to be too nice/a chump

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a pattern for many kids, she is a pleaser. She is also in danger of being a follower, which can be benign in third grade and dangerous or unfortunate in later graders. I have bossy alpha daughters unfortunately so can't help directly (these come with their own problems) but I will tell you that my oldest (6th) does not respect girls like this. She views them as suspect, and disloyal because they change with the wind to please who they are with. She likes when her friends who are like this stand up for themselves and that usually stops any drama with her friendships with girls.

My 4th grader on the other hand loves quiet, nice girls and they bring out the best in her, even though she is bossy. She doesn't boss her friends around as long as they aren't trying to tell her what to do LOL.

[b]Many mean girl types at this age seek out friendships of followers, bc they can play their relational games with them. This starts in third grade and is really bad in 4th grade IMO so good to get ahead of it now. [/b]In third grade it won't be as bad because the kids are at different stages of maturity and some are ready for that drama and some are still clueless kids playing with whoever is around.

Anyway, that was pointless information I guess, but in third grade [b]I would recommend that you highly encourage friendships with girls who are less alpha, even if she seems resistant to it.[/b] ID a few girls to plan things with, helpful if you also like their moms. [b]Also, sometimes friendships with older neighborhood girls can be useful,[/b] my older daughter has taught many younger girls who are friends of her sister how to stand up for themselves on the playground. It feeds her personality to help them, and there is no social drama involved with it bc they are in different grades. Hope it gets better. [/quote]

OP.  All of this is very helpful, especially the bolded.  She tends to befriend almost exclusively alpha girls and tends to be sort of the sidekick, from what I can tell, so the advice is helpful.  Thanks![/quote]

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