Reply to Middle School Girl Drama: commiserate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not middle school girl drama.  This is textbook bullying.  Screenshot and get to the counselor at school asap.  This is NOT normal.  [/quote]

This +1 million. The parents of these girls should be made aware of their bad behavior and going through the guidance counselor is a good way to do it.[/quote]
What's the difference between texting "we don't want you to hang out with us" and verbally telling her "we don't want you to hang out with us"?   Do kids not have the right to tell someone that they don't want you to hang out with them?

BTW, when I was a teen eons ago, I did have girls say this to me verbally. Yes, it hurt, but was it bullying?   What constitutes bullying now?[/quote]

It's bullying if they hang out with her then text things like "we don't like you."

And this is definitely serious bullying - "As the school year approached and then started, though, Larla and one other girl from the group have repeatedly texted mean things. [b]They have one of those apps that makes your text look like it is a different number and they pretend to be other people to trick DD[/b]."[/quote]

The bold above is what pushes this situation beyond garden-variety meanness and into calculated bullying, if it's repeatedly targeting one girl.

OP, please USE the advantage you have: You're in a private school that might actually do something about it (many publics just couldn't). Is there a school counselor? Go to that person and do not neglect to emphasize that the girls are faking texts so they appear to be from others--that is not only just nasty to your DD, it is a tactic that could get these girls into even bigger trouble. If it's a religious private, these girls need a serious come-to-Jesus talk about why their behavior is exceptionally cruel. They also need to hear that pretending to be someone else (effectively what they're doing) may seem harmless fun to them now but is morally wrong.

Don't make it about any forced "make up and get along" arrangement for your DD and these girls since they are not friends anyway. Tell the school you want it to know the app and these girls' behavior are distracting your DD from learning. Focus on that and don't leave the meeting with the counselor and ptncipal until you have a firm date  by which they will have this stopped. Summarize the meeting in writing and email them that summary so it's written down.

In a public, you couldn't do this last part, but: I'd tell the principal and counselor that if they won't tell the girls' parents about the app and their actions, you will tell them. [/quote]

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