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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, I hope you get some good advice here.  You sound introspective, that is a good start.

I can identify as your husband, married to a woman who is/was my best friend, lover and confidant.  As the kids came, she became more moody, more critical over little things.  She makes comments about how I do things, react, etc that are not at all how I view myself or anyone else I know.  We have some days that are better than others.  our sex life has slowly gone from occasionally and decent to less occasionally and often "hurry up, I have things to do"

I cheated, and I know its wrong but it is a self-esteem lifter and frankly it helps me stay married and sane.  I am not actively cheating now, and hope not to in the future.  I don't want to leave or lose my family.  I would love to rebuild with my wife but she has to want to.

Agree with others above, cheating can be reconciled if you both want to and both acknowledge room for forgiveness and improvement.

FYI, I think these situations are incredibly common.[/quote]
Was your wife the default parent? Did you pull your weight?  Did you ever try to find out why she was moody and critical?  When kids come along it does change things. You seriously can't expect your wife to be *exactly* the same as she was before kids.  Things do need to get done.  You can't expect her to give you the same level attention pre kids. That's just unreasonable.

Does your wife know you cheated?  If I found out that my DH cheated on me while I was also the default parent doing most everything I would be livid.  You got to screw around while she took care of your kids and house?[/quote]

I worked, she was SAH.  She did most but I was definitely involved.  No one expects the same level of attention post-kids but I assume its reasonable to expect some semblance of a sex life.

I admit what I did was wrong, not asking for your approval, and glad I wasn't caught so marriage can continue.  There is blame all around.[/quote]

NP. There is not “blame all around” when one person cheats. Cheaters love to blame others for their bad actions. Take personal responsibility for what you did.  We won’t even get into how commonly cheaters exaggerate their spouse’s failing so they can rationalize their bad behavior.[/quote]

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