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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The best thing my mom did was read The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.  It really shook her out of her happy modern family BS and helped her acknowledge and address the problems with me and my siblings that she had been in denial about.  You are placing a tremendous strain on your children and you can't adequately parent them if you aren't willing to acknowledge it.[/quote]
What were her delusions?[/quote]

That we liked her AP and were happy for her because she had "found love".

That we would "blend" easily with her AP's kids and that their behavior problems were their mother's fault.

That "children are resilient" means it's fine to treat them badly.

That she could afford the same lifestyle as she had during the marriage.

Those are just a few examples.  Fortunately she saw a financial planner who reality checked her.  My sister went off the rails right quick and that shook her out of the affair fog and she eventually parented more realistically.  But her delusions and happy talk caused a lot of needless suffering, for herself included.  "Children are resilient" comes from a study that found no serious psychological damage *as adults*. It doesn't mean the children aren't suffering, and some react in ways that cause lifelong damage.  [/quote]

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