Reply to My kid dislikes my good friends' kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't get involved with your daughter's management of her school social life.

By the way, kids who don't appear nice are actually vulnerable to bullying. What to a 1st grader appears as "not nice" can actually be lack of social skills. Then the other kids are mean back, and it becomes a downward spiral.

Ultimately, if you're more interested in judging this kid and his parents than being supportive, probably best to just fade the friendship.  [/quote]

Why is it often left up to the nice kids, and the parents of nice kids, to bend over backwards for the not nice kids? There frequently (not always) seems to be a correlation between the kids with behavior problems and the entitled parents who are full of excuses for them.

There is never an excuse to be unkind to someone. But my child does not have to go out of her way to befriend another child who isn’t nice, especially if/when the dynamic is a nice girl and a badly behaved boy. I will not teach my daughter that she has to excuse the behavior, or try to rationalize it, or put his comfort above her own. [/quote]

Way to miss the point, which is that what other kids call "not nice" can actually be a lack of social skills or social oddness, which then creates more isolation and bullying of the "not nice" kid. Newsflash - kids don't get bullied because they appear nice and socially in step.  They get bullied because they seem vulnerable, odd, or out-of-step, which can appear or be called "not nice."

But yeah, if you want to get on your high horse about your "nice" kid, then you should probably not try to stay friends with the "not nice" kid's parents. [/quote]

(oh, and in case the point wasn't clear -- I wasn't saying that your kid is under some obligation to befriend anyone she doesn't want to, nice or otherwise. Just that you may not want to assume that the "nice" kids are actually being nice all the time; and you may not want to assume that the kid they claim is "not nice" is just a jerk doing it to be a jerk.  The picture is much more complex than that.  But I get that you're much more interested in reveling in your perfect child, and kicking the parents of kids who are struggling.) [/quote]

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