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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids are 6-7 and in 1st grade.  Great friends with one family.  They have a son, who had a rough year last year in K.  Bad teacher, they moved him to my kid's class with a good teacher.  The bad teacher just disappeared with the school giving various excuses for her sudden departure mid-year and split all the kids up.  They decided to try a private school this year, it didn't work out, so he's back in my daughters 1st grade class at her table.  I was excited, because these are good friends of ours.  But whatever has happened, DD says he's the worst thing that has happened this year so far and she greatly dislikes him.  He's not a bully, but she says he's not nice to other kids.

I know his parents are doing everything they can to support him, they are 100% involved. [b] I felt myself starting to make excuses for him, telling DD he had a rough year last year, and I know his parents really love him and are working on it. [/b]

Then I realized that I have to be on my kid's team.  She doesn't like this kid, this kid is being mean to other kids.  She needs the message that I'm on her side.  If she doesn't want to be around this kid, then she doesn't have to be around him.  Regardless whether or not I'm friends with his parents or not.

Other similar stories/perspectives appreciated.[/quote]

This strikes me as really inappropriate and not helpful. Why would you tell your daughter "his parents love him and are working on it" and private information about his previous year?  That's a great way to further stigmatize the boy and set him up for even more social rejection. Better to not interfere with your daughter's social life. If she dislikes him, she dislikes him.  If she wants to move tables, let her move tables.  But the fact that she dislikes him does not mean he's a bad kid; he may in fact be the one getting bullied and isolated.  It seems like you're vacillating between two equally unhelpful approaches of treating your daughter like an adult and expecting her to act a certain way because "his parents really love him," and entering into the social world of 6 year olds.  [/quote]

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