Reply to Never on the same page with DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all the feedback. While quite a few of these situations are about money, that’s not really the main issue most of the time.  We both work full time and live comfortably. I wish it were just about money. That would be simpler to resolve. For example, [b]we’ve expressed how hard it can be to take small children out for chores[/b]. His brother and sister in law have often offered to watch our kids. They offered again this weekend. I told DH we should take them up on the offer, buy them all pizza for lunch and do what we need to do in two hours. [b]He waffles and insists it’s no big deal to take the kids- 3 under 7– with us.[/b] [b]Why he wants them along to go to Home Depot and Costco who knows [/b]but it always ends up being stressful. That’s one example. In my mind it shouldn’t be a big deal to let relatives willing to watch them for a few hours help us out. [/quote]

I wrote a much longer paragraph about communicating but wanted to point out that you are missing key pieces of information. “We’ve expresses how hard it is to take out small kids on chores. Was it a we, or was it you and he went along with your statement? In his own words, how would he describe the experience?   Would he really use the word stressful and if so does he think there is something he gets out of the experience that is worth the stress and if so what is it?  If he either really isn’t stressed out, or feels he gets something out if it despite the stress, it makes sense to me why he wouldn’t want to bring them to his sister’s house.   Once you have that information, you can go from there to talk about your experience and try to find a compromise. Steven Covey’s book about 7 habits of Highly Effective People mentions “Seek first to understand and then to be understood” [/quote]

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