Reply to Coming to terms with paying so much for an unmotivated student who hates college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is common for this generation. Life has been an endless treadmill of hovering, overprotective parents and preparation.

He probably sees college as something that is hoisted on him rather than feeling blessed that he is getting a good education paid for.
[/quote]

We did not "hoist" or force him to go to college. He loves the freedom, loves he was able to get out of our home and out of town. He is disinterested in everything college about college; the work, the library, clubs, making connections. He's sort of just there, chugging along in lower rigor courses. He has a social life and friends but we worry how serious they take him or if [b]he's just Good Time Charlie nobody will associate with after they graduate and go in different directions. That's perhaps cynical, but it's a real concern of mine. [/b]:([/quote]

I kind of have similar worries for a kid who is only 13, but what I bolded really stood out to me.  I mean I get how that could be a concern, but he's now an adult, legally at least.  How he handles relationships isn't really what you care about when you spend all this money on college, is it?  Isn't you goal to have raised a self sufficient adult?  So I think your concern is will he be able to get a job, pay his bills, and live an independent life?

I think you need to start talking to him about what happens after college, and set some expectations.  Are you ok with him moving back home without a job or a motivation to find a good job?  I mean in a couple of years are you going ot be on here posting you're worried he doesn't have any friends and he's just playing video games and living off the allowance you give him?    I have no advice on HOW to do this, but it seems ot me that you need to shift from thinking about his self esteem to thinking about how you can raise him to be an independent adult in the world.  [/quote]

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