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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Postpone the wedding for 1 year and make an exit plan jic.[/quote]

I am. To be honest- I can walk away anytime without anything to lose.

I am not on rental lease both the property manager and owner know I live there ( moved in March 2018), but none has asked us to update the rental agreement. When FH renewed the lease they didn't add me and after this incident, I wasn't going to ask them too. All utilities are in his name, as well. We do share a phone plan that is also in his name.

I can be gone in the blind of an eye, if I need to.

[quote=Anonymous]WHY are you marrying him? Jesus. [/quote]

I am not sure if I am. I know its cliche but I love him. But I don't want to sacrifice my life for anything less than I deserve. Right now I am committed to trying to fix this, but that may not always be the case. Either way, whatever decision I make, I want to be certain and I am just not there yet. [/quote]

New poster.
OP, while YOU are "committed to fixing this," he is not. And does not sound like he's going to get to that point. While it's sensitive and kind of you to see that he likely feels emasculated--he put himself in that position. You didn't. And he has shown you who he really is with his behavior at work (if there were fines and his bosses were arrested, more was going on than you seem to be able to admit to yourself). A man who would get into that position at work without major contrition at home and serious work on himself morally and emotionally is not, not, not someone to trust your life, future finances and future children with. You love him. But love is not enough for marriage, no matter what fairy tales you'll hear on DCUM or elsewhere. Trust, responsibility, maturity, a functioning moral compass, the ability to admit when one is wrong--without those, love is lovely only until something like this happens. You got your wake-up call before marrying. Are you going to hear it or not? [/quote]

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