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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You resent your older son for being like your sibling, and you identify with your younger son. Wonder why your older acts the way he acts?![/quote]
Your reading a lot into it.  If I resented him, I would not drive him everywhere for the various things he’s been invited to, or allow sleepovers all the time... And we do special things - he njoys scary movies and my husband and I take turns watching them with him. He also likes amusement parks, and we take turns taking him to amusement parks.  I do resent how he treats his little brother.[/quote]
But you drive your younger son too? Resenting him doesn't mean you stop being his mother. You just wrote you resent how he treats his younger brother. Sure, that is with some reason. He clearly knows this and acts accordingly. Social anxiety child always gets a special treatment, always. The other kid resents that. Why does anxiety kid get a pass? Because it is anxiety and rules of being strict do not apply. Take a good look at what your younger kid might be doing to provoke his brother. I am not saying just because your younger might provoke his older, that excuses older son's behavior, not at all. But, man, all that your older is doing is almost exactly how my older son acts towards his younger sister, because he has social anxiety and hence he is irrationally embarrassed of his sister. Just because your older is outgoing doesn't mean he might not have some anxiety, he sees his brother as a threat, most likely for your affection, he is telling you this! Like plain and simple telling it to you. You can watch a million movies and if your son thinks you love the younger more, and he tells you so, why are you dismissing his feelings and his words? This is a sign of you being a poor listener, you might be talking AT your older, not talking to him and it sounds like you are not listening to him at all. There is such a thing as glistering but not hearing. He is 12, when you try to have a mature conversation with him, what does he tell you, really tell you? 
(Yes, I am projecting here, but forgive me for that and if there is something here that might be useful consider it, otherwise sorry, I mean no insult).Your station sounds so similar to my kids, just that my anxiety kid was terrible towards his sister.)[/quote]

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