Reply to SAHM of teens — Crucial responsibilities

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a SAHM of teens and I do not think there are any extra responsibilities at all for most teens or their parents. I am sure most parents are giving their kids nutritious foods, clothes and a safe home environment. They keep the channels of communications open and are interested in what they are doing. This is what most teens require from their parents,  SAH or WOH.

I have 2 kids in two different magnet programs in HS and it is pressure cooker for both of them academically. School is 30 minutes away by car, so I drive them every day.  Most teens do not have the problem of a long commute or they drive or take the bus.  My kids are in EC activities that requires travelling, so I making travel arrangements and travel with them. I arrange for practice, tutoring and making up work at school when they miss school. If your kids have different EC activities that does not require travelling, then what more responsibilities do you have towards them in this regard.

My kids do not have a dating life and apart from the conversation about safe sex, safe digital footprint etc, I have not had to deal with this part of teen life. Maybe some parents can chime in here about how much supervision their kids require because I do not have experience with this. I  do know of a kid who got pregnant in a different HS...now that kid needed some responsible parenting that did not happen.  How many of us have that kind of problems? Very few.

My kids are not into drugs, smoking, drinking, vaping, social media - so issues of bullying, drugs, risky behavior is not what I face as a parent.  Is this a big problem with others? I don't know. What is the solution? Should parents quit their jobs and be there to guard their children 24/7? I don't think so. Lets not be alarmist!

My kids are also learning to drive through I drive smart.  And I make them drive on weekends.  I am sure most parents - WOH or SAH - do that. I host parties at my own house and I do not allow drinking or kids to drive drunk.  I am not permissive and I do not take chances with someone else's kids lives.  When my kids will graduate from their learner's license, they will be getting behind the wheels of the most safe and reliable new car that we can afford. That is the only one concession I have made and saved money for.  They are new drivers and inspite of all the defensive driving training they get, they are not going on the road in an old clunker with balding tires and the newest safety features.

I also schedule dermatologist, ophthalmologist, pediatrician and orthodontic appointments, as well as flu shots and HPV vaccine etc.  I keep them up to date with all school immunization - but then how is that different from what other parents are doing?

I have helped them for their general school requirements - SAT, APs, scholastic competitions, college visits, having a road-map and checklist to make sure they are fulfilling whatever they need for college applications and resume building. Do you think most parents are not doing that?   Do I make their lives more pleasant by making sure that they do not have to do chores at home and meet all their basic needs - yes! But this whole summer I have taught them to do laundry, fold clothes, declutter, cook etc.  They have to have these skills to function well when they go to college.

I also have started and managed their custodial Roth and made them put in their earned money in it and kicked in some contribution.  My kids know quite a bit about money management and budgeting too. Again, not rocket science and most parents do that for their kids.  Most teens are either working or interning by HS and all parents SAH or WOH have to deal with all that it entails - resume, work, commute, balancing school work, college visits  etc.

As long as you do not have a dysfunctional family (abuse, neglect, drama) and have created a nurturing environment for them, your kids will be fine. Be there for them, talk to them and guide them.  If you think that your kid has issues of self esteem, or they are depressed, please get them help. Teens of today face a lot of pressures and horrible terrible news - global warming, school shooting etc. - this is something that all of us worry about.

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You could do all of this...or nothing at all!  No one is going to arrest you if you are super chilled! [/quote]

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