Reply to WWYD - neighbor doesn't like fingernail painting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can’t you just tell your kids “some families don’t think it’s good to paint nails so we’re only going to do it when it’s just us.” Then I’d kid comes over, nail polish doesn’t get put out or if he comes over and it’s out you say “oh, some parents don’t like polish so it’s our rule that other kids can’t paint nails at our house. Let us finish up then we can do something else.”

There are lots of parents who wouldn’t want you painting their kids nails, me included - even for girls. If you are otherwise are happy with this kid being over, honoring their wishes is a kindness to him and the dad. It sounds a bit like you’re uncomfortable telling your kids no to an activity (I may be projecting there) but that’s really all that needs to be done here.[/quote]

I'm not uncomfortable telling them no to an activity. I'm uncomfortable making any of the kids feel ashamed about something like this. [/quote]

I don't understand why you would need to make them feel uncomfortable. My DD has always loved makeup and nail polish and when she was younger, the rule was no nail polish or makeup on playdates unless I knew the parent was ok with it. I was surprised how many parents didn't allow nail polish (and this was almost all girls, so not even a gender issue). I simply said that every family has different rules, and [friend's] family doesn't allow nail polish, so we respect that. No shaming involved, same as if family didn't allow tv or video games or certain foods or whatever.  [/quote]

The responses here are making me think im just bristling due to the broader situation. He also tried to tell me the other night he doesn't want kid to watch kids cartoons. But he's ok sending the kid over after dinner most evenings which is when DD and DS get to watch a show (which everyone knows, they know our whole daily schedule because kid knows he has to leave for naps and dinner). And gave me examples of things like baseball games that would be better for neighbor kid.

And like I don't care if that's what you want him to watch but I'm not changing dd and ds's routine to suite other dad's parenting choices.

It's also not the first time he's kind of told nanny how to nanny his kid. They have a live in Filipino woman who has lived with them forever and frequently seems a little disgruntled with dad... be definitely views nanny like "the help" in a way im not totally comfortable with.

He also told me I was huge the other day (I'm almost 7 months pregnant) and apparently in front of all the kids and nanny told his friends who were over that I was pregnant and huge so im not his biggest fan this week.

I will think about it again when I'm less annoyed at him as a person. I don't want to alienate the kid, he seems like he's just searching for connections and I don't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him at all.[/quote]

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