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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh no, I would put my foot down. This is an unmistakable sign of needing to downsize and accept help, or move to a home. Please heavily insist they move NOW. Otherwise it will get harder and harder for them to move later, because they will get even less rational and physically more frail. At some point, moving will become a death sentence. Don't let it get to that point.[/quote]

Put YOUR foot down? lol
Exactly who do you think you are to make demands of these people?  
You're not their blood...

You're not their "daughter", you're their "daughter in-law" & you've got absolutely no say or authority to "put your foot down" and demand ANYTHING.

Oh, let me guess... you'd use your kids to make threats that they'd never see them as long as the house is messy, right?
Use the old emotional extortion threat, right??

I'm sure they'll take things much more seriously now, especially since it's coming from YOU (someone who's opinion is clearly more important than their own childrens.... at least in your own delusional eyes that is).  
If only you'd started making such life changing demands of these grown adults sooner, lol.

Do us all a favor... please get over yourself.[/quote]

These people are allowing their beloved, formerly immaculate house to fall apart.  When that starts to happen the value of their property goes down hill with each passing year while their living situation deteriorates.  You either bury your head in the sand and say "I don't want to see this!!" OR you start the talk with them about downsizing into a more manageable environment while they can still get decent money for their home.

It's a hard reality for some people to accept but this situation is not going to get better.  Few adult children can afford the time and money to be taking care of their parents' routine maintenance, home repairs and house cleaning.  I'll bet the yard is a complete disaster, too.

The house is too big and too much for them.  Time to downsize.

[/quote]

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