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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got divorced six years ago because we grew apart. I am now remarried and so much happier. My wife is also remarried and very happy. We have two kids and they are doing great. We both remarried people our age who didn't have kids prior and had no desire to have kids. [b]My kids are 10 and 13.[/b] They have four parents that truly love them and are on their side. We are 50/50 custody, so that always helps, too. We all also go out to dinner together as a blended family once a month. Things can be fine, as long as all the adults put the kids first. [/quote]

My parents got divorced when my sibling and I were 3 and 7 and ended up in a situation that sounds very similar to yours.  We handled it as best we could as kids, but we are both still dealing with the grief of our parents' divorce 30 years later.  It is still a constant part of who were are.  Having to figure out how to fairly share holidays between our parents and non-divorced inlaws, visits with grandkids, visits to see them in different states, eldercare, etc.  We will never be done dealing with the repercussions of our parents' divorce.

Even amicable splits where everyone is (mostly) acting like grownups can have long-lasting consequences for children.  I'm not anti-divorce in all situations, but it makes me crazy when I heard adults say kids are resilient and will be fine.  My parents thought and continue to think we are fine, too.  We are not.[/quote]

Flip side of this is that my parents are still together and they shouldn't be.  They have no idea how difficult growing up in a household where screaming could start at any minute was - I am still dealing with the effects of it.  I recently had a family member yell at me because they have a lot of stress going on and it brought back very bad memories of being a child and I felt nervous and anxious for a week.  They are still antagonistic towards each other, well, when they are in the same place at the same time, my dad travels extensively and we know that he is having an affair abroad.  My mom knows about this as well, but won't do anything about it but bitch and moan - imagine listening to your mother talk about this with you, she thinks as her daughter I owe it to her to listen, even if it's about my dad.  Family get togethers are awkward, we can't ever plan anything with the entire family because we don't know when my dad will be in town. It's awful.  I'm pregnant now and honestly am starting to move away from spending any time with them.  It's just too stressful.[/quote]

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