Reply to How to keep DW in a positive mindset in the event that we have trouble conceiving?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. DW's comment about "lightning doesn't strike twice," is in reference to the fact that SIL got pregnant on their first try (where "lightning striking," is getting pregnant so early in the TTC process).

A couple of other posters addressed that we should use as many available resources as possible (ex. ovulation tests). I think this is a great solution and hopefully she goes for it to.

My other concern is more along the lines of how to handle her potential disappointment in relation to her sisters pregnancy. As SIL's pregnancy progresses and becomes more "real," I could see DW becoming disappointed, even after 3-4 months of TTC with no success. What's the best way to approach this? [/quote]

I think your DW will need to figure out how to best manage whatever disappointment, jealousy, etc, she may feel. Her reactions will of course affect you and it sounds like you have genuine concern for her well-being but you can't mitigate her feelings. She may well feel disappointed if you guys are still TTC throughout the sister's pregnancy. If it's not her sister having a baby, then it will be someone else--a colleague, a friend, a neighbor, or maybe the sister will have a second baby before you conceive the first. Once you start TTC, you'll likely notice pregnant women everywhere. You'll need to talk to your DW about how best to support her. Maybe she'll need to stay off social media so that she's not bombarded by announcements and photos of pregnant friends, maybe she'll need help with perspective (not getting pregnant in the first several months doesn't mean you'll never get pregnant). Maybe she could visit the DCUM TTC board and discuss her reactions with others likely feeling the same way.

I think it's common to feel that disappointed and jealous when those close to you have a baby while you're not having luck (which may not be the case for you both). If that happens and your DW has significant problems managing those feelings or if they affect her relationship with you and her family, she should probably see a therapist (I mean that kindly). [/quote]

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