Reply to What age is reasonable to expect good behavior from children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At what age should you have an expectation that your child CAN AND WILL behave in, say, a store, restaurant,going to bed, etc. I’m not looking for “my 2.5 yo could sit in church quietly” kind of answers please- interested in real answers for when you think it’s developmentally appropriate for children to be able to control themselves and have self regulation during a non- preferred activity. [/quote]

You sound very detached from your child.
How old is your child now?[/quote]

He’s 4.5. Today we had planned to see some dinosaurs at a museum and then have lunch, and then head briefly to a church my brother wanted to see. Well, the museum part was easy. But the museum cafe was closed and only the coffee shop was open. And then, the 1 church tour turned into a two church tour, and then my SIL wanted to go to a polish deli across town, and we were in traffic for 40 minutes.  Luckily, I was armed with: a sandwich, a water bottle, strawberries, two small oranges, and some misc toys in my purse.  I ended up using all of these items. At what age do you feel you can just walk out the door and your child will go with the flow if the plan changes? [/quote]

Wow. You need to simplify.  That is WAY too much to expect that a 4.5 year old will behave, let alone behave without significant prep work/supports.  You need to set your kids up for success.  At 4.5 you should still just be planning on 1 indoor activity, lunch, then nothing else structured for a while.  The fact that your 4.5 year old apparently got through that day without a major melt-down (which yeah, sounds hellish to me too as an adult) suggests that they are actually quite well behaved. [/quote]

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