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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again, I never meant to say any of these things you’re talking about. I realize that raising kids and then adults with SN is costly, emotional, likely extremely anxiety ridden, draining, and stressful. That’s what I meant by the ruined comment, we barely keep it together now as parents. My comments are about how I don’t think I’ll be strong enough like these other two friends. I know you’d love your child forever and always but I am anxious about implications for the whole family. Anyway...was just wondering about something I know we can’t control and how others overcame those thoughts. [/quote]

17 months is a tough age. If you are barely keeping it together now, you should space a second kid (if you have one) farther apart, like 3.5-4 year age gap. We did not do that deliberately -- ran into secondary infertility -- but my two are just under 3.5 years apart and it is so, so much easier than it would have been if they'd been 2 years apart like we'd planned. My second had some minor health issues for the first few months and my first was very understanding and able to entertain himself in a way a 2 year old could not have. Plus he'd already been potty trained and was past the worst of the tantrums -- big plus.

Unless you are nearing 40, I'd say give it at least one more year before you even consider getting pregnant. By then you will have a better idea if you can handle two kids at all. Some people are better off with one and there's no shame in that. We are at our max with two. Hypothetically I'd love a third but realistically I know it would break us. [/quote]

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