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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll play devil’s advocate to other posters. We had a 4th- similar ages to yours.  My husband wasn’t on board at first but then changed his mind when our daughter was 1.5.  This baby is the light of our lives (yes along with our other kids before DCUM bashes me).  Our kids adore him.  I’m so glad we had him.   We have similar HHI to you and even if we can’t provide as much as we could to 3, they will be provided for.

To those saying it will harbor resentment if you have a fourth,[b] it could also harbor resentment if you didn’t.  Why are her DH’s feelings more valid than hers?[/b]  We always said 4 but our 3rd was tough so we debated.  I would have been upset and resented my husband if we didn’t go for the fourth.[/quote]

It's not that his feelings are more valid, it's that resenting an existing kid is a much worse "worst case scenario" than resenting being denied a hypothetical child.  Risk reward is different.  In both cases the worst case scenario could lead to divorce, but only in the first is there a living child who could end up knowing one parent didn't want them.  [/quote]

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