Reply to Help! What do you do when a crazy narcissist escalates?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]So, if you ignore her, what is she going to do to “escalate”? Email you again? Glare at you some more? Text you? What’s the worst case scenario if you stop feeding her? [/quote]

OP I'm not the poster with the aunt/uncle who want to be grandparents or the general pushy people. I have posted her several times about her over the past year,  I don't want to repeat all of it but she wants access to our kids, especially my daughter. She doesn't hear no when either DH, myself or the kids say no to her. She will go behind our backs to try to pressure the kids when we say no. We've had to block her from the kids devices. It was just going on and on with her so we started using the gray rock techniques. I don't think they are working because she really doesn't care about access to DH or I, she wants my kids and to feed her fantasy about being whatever with my daughter. This is not going to happen.

I think that either my MIL or SIL has said something to her to get to back off from us. They are awesome but since she is a narc this may have set her off again. There were several weird paragraphs on her crazy email about me trying to break up her family unit and smearing her. My SIL who has had similar problems with her but lives farther away is the only person I have talked to her about her craziness. She may also just be imagining things in her head which is even scarier.

If her only escalation is more crazy emails, glaring at me, bad mouthing me to other relatives then I am fine. I don't care and we'll just continue to ignore it. What is freaking me out is her level of rage and not knowing what else she will do. She has been vindictive with some of her neighbors and damaged their property before but I don't see her doing that here. I certainly didn't expect her to chase me around at an elderly relative's party. [/quote]

So, OP.. To your first paragraph, all I have to say is “okay”. She won’t take no for an answer. The answer is to Continue saying no. Block her from ALL devices, including your kids. Be as committed to keeping her from her kids as she is about getting them.

The emails, etc. Won’t bother you once you have blocked her and delete any emails from her without reading them. STOP READING HER STUFF. Stop allowing her real estate in your head. If people are intervening on your behalf, and she is already a running joke, what power do you honestly think her “smear campaign” will have?

If you think, which it seems you might, that she will escalate to the point it puts your family in danger, then it’s time to get the police involved. Set up a timeline with old documentation or evidence if you have it. Ask her in writing to leave you and your family alone. Ensure to stay out her way, even declining invitations if you have to. If she does anything else, you have grounds to legally keep her away from you. [/quote]

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