Reply to MIL moved in and it’s not going well

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kudos to you, OP.  You sound like a warm and loving DIL.  Both your DH and your MIL are very lucky to have you!!!

Are you on Next Door?  Could you post a message to see if anyone else has their parent living with them in your neighborhood?  You could perhaps start your own support group AND you could also maybe do a movie night or game night a couple times a month as a nice social outlet.

Also, how does your MIL get around during the day?  Does she drive?  If she does then that's great.  Does she feel comfortable driving to some of the places you mentioned, like the museums or the library or even a coffee shop, or is that intimidating to her?  Maybe have her practice driving with you in the passenger seat so that she gets the experience going from home to New Place A or New Place B, etc.  If she doesn't drive, then does she have a cell phone (and know how to use it) so she can utilize Uber or Lyft?  And has she used them either with you or by herself?

Finally, for things like the dinner time and cooking, remember that your perception of her 'staring' while you cook could just be a comfortable silence for her.  She may just be happy to be in the room.  So put on some music or the tv to give yourselves a little noise coverage, and go from there.  And perhaps hand her a cutting board and ask her to chop the vegetables or set the table!

Hugs![/quote]

One final point … joining new groups is a good idea for expanding her social contact but remember that all new groups are not created equal.  My mom has especially found that some of the retiree groups she's joined have not been especially welcoming to newcomers.  For 3 out of 4 groups there have been at least one or two Queen Bees who just weren't very nice.  It was weird to see because my mom gets along with everyone!  The first time I thought it was just that mom had annoyed someone, which would be unusual but it could happen.  The second time was the same - there was one lady on the newsletter committee who didn't want anyone doing anything that she didn't dictate but then she complained mightily about how overworked she was.  The third group I was actually with her at a meeting (book club) and witnessed the downright rude and hostile behavior by one woman towards my mom and another newcomer.  The fourth group (a different book club) was a match.  She also joined two groups at church, and those are going every well too![/quote]

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