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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ever since my child turned 5 (a few months ago) we have had an issue with daily power struggles, mainly revolving around food, the TV, and playtime.  I'd say we have one of these power struggles about 4-5 times per day.

Here are some examples of the daily occurances:

Around food:

Me:  It's dinner time.  We're having food A, food B, and food C.  I know you love food A and B.  Please come to the table.

Child:  No, I don't want that.  I want cookies.

Me:  We're not having cookies for dinner.  If you eat a good dinner, you can have a cookie after.

Child:  Fine, then I'm not having anything.  Runs upstairs to room, slams door, and cries.

Around the TV:

Me:  After this show it's time to turn off the TV and find something else to do.

Child:  (Whining) But I haven't watched any TV today.

Me:  You've already had an hour of TV today.  Time to find something else to do.

Child:  Fine, then I'm not doing anything.  Starts a crying fit.

Around playtime:

Me:  I've played with you for an hour, it's time for me to clean the kitchen and start dinner.

Child:  But what can I do?  I have nothing to do.

Me:  It's time o entertain yourself.  Why don't you get started with building some Magnatiles.

Child:  Fine, then I'm not doing anything.  Runs to room, slams door, starts to cry.

How can I handle these situations?  I feel like these power struggles are increasing by the week.  There are no new changes in environment.  Child is an only child.[/quote]

Try reading How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen. Lots of good suggestions about how to turn those situations around and get cooperation without power struggle.

For example, child asks "what can I do?" -- don't answer. Play along . . . hmm, I don't know. &lt;offer some silly, playful suggestions -- "Could you fly up to the ceiling? Maybe fly all around and check whether there are any tiny bugs up there that we can't see from down here." Child will say NOOO! and laugh but then come up with their own ideas.

"But I haven't watched any TV today." "I know, it's crazy but I think the TV is invisible. All this time you were sitting here and watching the wall!" Upbeat, playful tone. Or try to get them to say what they feel without telling them. "How are you feeling about not having watched any TV today?" Child -- "I want to watch more!" You (give in fantasy what can't be given in reality): "I wish I could give you a TV that as on all the time, until 8 PM at night, just playing all your shows." As they talk about what they want they might actually move on from it and get it out of their system.

It sounds to me like your child feels silenced and is dramatizing that by removing himself from the conversation and from the family space. You might want to play around with ways to give the feeling that he is "heard," even if the boundaries remain firm.

&gt;[/quote]

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