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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks everyone.  [b]We are working on DD stating what she does not like to this girl and for DD to feel good about what she has.[/b]

I did not provide the whole story  This friend has also made some pretty racist remarks so we will likely go the stay away route. [/quote]

I don’t even understand this statement? Are you teaching your girl to be a mean girl “back”, even though this girl may not be mean at all?

I’m also curious to know how this girl is “putting down” your child? Are you hypersensitive and unhappy about living in a small house? Because the lesson about houses is not that much different than one about people, families... they are all different.

5 year olds notice things. They notice that not all houses are like theirs (your own precious may have commented to the other girl at some time.. your house is so big!). The notice people with freckles, people with disabilities, shirts that aren’t pink, people with glasses, people with different coloured skin, old people, younger people, etc. They also notice if you drive a car, and they drive an SUV, or that you serve milk with lunch instead of water. Their lives are routine, and these things are deviations from the nest categories they’ve set. It’s not mean... it’s an observation.

[b]The child said she does not want to play with black boys, only white ones.[/b]  THat is not an observation.  Yes, she likely learned it somewhere, but I don't want my children to be on the receiving end of that.

[/quote][/quote]

If this is the response from OP, then yes, the stay away route is fine. The 5yo is likely hearing the same racism from her parents. It's not your job to counteract what her own parents have taught her. It CAN be a teachable moment for your own kid about how much fun differences can be and that the other girl might miss out on new friends because she only wants to play with white boys.[/quote]

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