Reply to separation/divorce/coparenting when one spouse travels a lot for work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My soon to be ex has been increasingly expected to travel for work. He's had around 4 work trips these last few months, with his last trip spanning 8 days. He is asking for 50/50 custody but I feel that if he is continuing to travel this much, it can't possibly be 50/50.

Wondering how others navigate this when you have children in the picture. How to keep it fluid for them with changing care schedules?  What should I have written into a divorce agreement?

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If you can be flexible and if you want to enable your husband to spend 50% of his time with his child, this can be done. My ex travels a lot and I accommodate. I do not travel for work and don't mind switching weeks or having DC for a longer period of time while my ex travels and have him then make up the time when he is back. [/quote]

I think the sticking point for me now is that its been recommended to me that a 2/2/3 type schedule is better for when they are little. It seems like shuffling days around on this kind of schedule could be tough. A week with each parent would better accommodate shuffling schedules with stbx's intermittent travel but I don't think its the best arrangement for them day to day. [/quote]

Who is recommending that?  I would say once a month, both get together and look at schedules and you each get 2 weeks.  However, during his time, he is responsible for child's appointments, etc.[/quote]

for young kids, it's definitely a recommendation that they see both parents as frequently as possible.  The frequent travel puts a wrench in that. [/quote]

I am the previous poster who makes it work with the ex. I hear you. And I understand that 2/2/3 may be ideal, but given that it’s not an option for the OP, she needs to decide with of the two less than ideal situations does she want to achieve: 
(1) more of a week-on-week-off situation, where your child still sees his/her dad about half the time, or 
(2) a scenario where your child has significantly less time with his/her father

The 2/2/3 is simply not an option. Neither is growing up in an intact loving nuclear family.: which is the most ideal for child. [/quote]

My ex and I do a 3/3/1 (so we each have Sat night every other week) and my ex travels for work. I don't find it that disruptive. Because we split the week, if she is out of town that means I have a max of 3 extra nights in a week. If Dad had a regular schedule of weekly travel, it would make sense to schedule to maximize his time with the kids, but I don't think at 2/2/3 is neccessarily unmanageable with a traveling coparent.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for insight..and everyone else who has weighed in. I don't think 2/2/3 or 3/3/1 is impossible, but it would require a lot of rescheduling for extended work trips. I know flexibility will be key with this situation for the long term, but I think ultimately I will end up with more than 50/50 care and he will still insist its 50/50.  I don't see him making up the time if I have them during his long work trips. There is no way his work schedule will accommodate drop off and pick up of kids daily for a week at a time at this stage. [/quote]

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