Reply to 22 year old DD living with us while doing her PhD

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "22 year old DD living with us while doing her PhD"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]aka for at least 5 years.

I know this is a common situation for kids to "boomerang" back after being out of the house- so what should I expect? Should we set up any rules/expectations? Her school is fully funded, with a stipend of about $20K/year, but it makes no sense for her to pay for an apartment or whatever [b]since we're close to the school so I am really fine with her living here and having a great nest egg when she graduates and gets a job.[/b][/quote]

I think you need to think through what you are "really fine" with. Some nights she will be up all night finishing work. Some days she will sleep in all day. Some nights she won't come home because she is at the lab or library or with a guy. Some nights she might want to bring a guy home. It might be a holiday and she will want to stay in her room working, or go to her office, or hang out with friends instead of you. Sometimes she will complain about how much work she has, and then the very next night she might come home late, drunk, because she went to happy hour instead of the library. She might eat all your food. She might leave her dishes in the sink. She might hog the washer and dryer without regard for your needs.

I've been a Ph.D. student and now I'm a parent. Some things I did as a student would now drive parent me crazy. I think you guys should just talk openly about your expectations. My guess is that you might want to treat her like a child more than she is comfortable with, and she might treat you like her parent (i.e., she takes and does not give back in equal amounts) more than you are comfortable with. It doesn't have to be terrible, though. Just be honest and see if you can make it work.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics