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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The one thing that made my infertility easier to manage was how wonderful my DH was about it all.  That carried over to be wonderful and caring during pregnancy, and post-partum.  And now he's an excellent hands on father.

He very much wanted to be a father, and was on board with me every single step of the way.  He WANTED to come to all my appointments, wanted to hear about it all, was my partner and team mate.

So yeah, I'm also going to say this is a huge blaring red flag.  This is not a "men are different" thing.  This is being a jerk about the first real trial in your marriage.  It does not get EASIER after the kids are born.  It gets MUCH MUCH harder.[/quote]

I’m with you. The number of posters saying “men are just like that” is really surprising me. My DH isn’t a super effusive guy but he was IN IT with me, wanted to understand everything, etc. We’ve got our transfer for #2 next week and DH has been a little more laid back this time around, but he does lots of check-ins with me about how I’m feeling, what’s happening, what I need. Maybe the previous posters didn’t just want/need that type of support from their spouses, which is certainly valid, but I did/do.

Maybe a calm, cards-on-the-table, “here is what I need to feel supported here” discussion is warranted. His response— whether he is willing to meet your needs (even if he’s personally more go-with-the-flow) during this process— might be telling. [/quote]

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