Reply to DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your DH is right in knowing that this wouldn’t be a regular trip to CA. I wouldn’t promise to bring them back and then not do it.[/quote]
She can "plan" to return, not "promise".  Plans can change.  Especially if he escalates his threats while she is in CA.[/quote]

Please....no Judge is going to buy this. [/quote]

This. Send your husband an email in reply thanking him for his concern, and telling him you already have plans in place to visit CA from Date X to Date Y, like you have for the past 10 years.  If you have return tickets, send him a copy.   Also tell him that you are happy to work with him on finding dates when he can vacation with the kids. Then go on vacation and come back on the date you said you would.

Don’t take them to CA and keep them there. It could be considered parental kidnapping in a divorce.  PKPA applies to custody, and it will be decided by DC irregardless, because that’s where the kids live now.  Trying to unilaterally move kids out of state could work against you.

https://www.bwjp.org/assets/documents/pdfs/a_practitioner%E2%80%99s_guide_to_the_parental_kidnapping_prevention_act_pkpa.pdf

Depending on a number of factors, including the kids ages and what they want, if both parents want custody, you will each get it 1/2 time. If you more to CA or he moves to TX, the parent moving away from the kids residence in DC will probably lose primary custody and get the kids for school breaks and major holidays.

File for formal separation now and get a temporary support order in place so that you can get an income stream and know what you can afford.  You will get child support,  and as a SAHM, you can probably get some short term alimony while you transition to the workforce, unless something is going on like a significant medical issue for you or a kid. But, I would not count on long term alimony. You need to be making a plan now to get back into the workforce.  You might need to move to the burbs. It’s okay. We don’t bite.

Or, you can move to Texas and not file. Just be aware— if you do, and you want to file a year from now, your kids are TX residents. The assumption will be that they stay in TX, and if you decide to move to CA or back to DC, you will lose primary custody and get the breaks and vacation thing.  So if you move the kids to TX, you are stuck in TX if you want custody of the kids.

**** disclaimer: this varies by state. I don’t know all the facts in your case. Your personal facts could completely change things.  Family law is not my primary field. ******  **********This is not legal advice*******.  It’s me looking at an abstract problem without having all the info and saying— huh, how would this play out based on the law in my state, as it stood 10 years ago.  ****Do not rely on this advice in making decisions****.  Work with your lawyer on your specific situational and ***** follow their advice*****[/quote]

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